Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
