so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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