im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We need a shit load of segways right now
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
