You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize