You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
