Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
