any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize