This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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