found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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