dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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