i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
