He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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