I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize