I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
