we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
