It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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