in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Someone signed my nipple.
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