Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
