we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
