I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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