Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
