I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
