totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
