You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
