RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
