she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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