Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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