I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
