Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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