she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Randomize
