how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
