I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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