Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize