Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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