I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
