I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
