i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
