sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
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