I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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