she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
