Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
