dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
