Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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