my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize