If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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