DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
