This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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