weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He kissed a someone with a penis
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
