Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't deserve a penis
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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