I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
