It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
