my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
