Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
