East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Where is the hickey?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
