Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
