chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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