OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
