I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
