you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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