Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
