I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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