Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
