so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
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