its not stalking. its research.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize