Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
