only if we run a train.
done.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
